Before you get too concerned about Us Weekly's cover line, Angelina hasn't LITERALLY "stabbed Jen in the heart," it's a reference to that whole thing about how Angie finally admitted that, yes, she was in love with Brad before he was divorced. That little spark is a refreshing break from the reams of Madonna divorce drama. But claps to Star for its tag: "GUY BLASTS: She won't have sex & sleeps in a plastic bag!" Let's see what other sticky and sweet secrets lurk in the 'zines this week...
"I Kissed A Girl" singer Katy Perry dove into a giant cake at the Latin American MTV Video Music Awards in Guadalajara, Mexico. Wow! They only way she could get any more WILD is to slap Paris Hilton or wear a vial of someone's blood. And oh, wait, those things are already passé.
"Project Runway" winner Leanne Marshall taking her boyfriend and her prize money and moving from Oregon to New York, where she hopes to make waves. Literally, get it? Get it?? Moving on ...
When it was put to a vote, 87% of Us Weekly readers said that Katie Holmes should cease to design her own clothes (and certainly cease to market them). And I'm 87% sure it was her "All My Sons" opening night black lace/white satin Princess Jasmine outfit that put them over the edge.
Not only are Jen Aniston and John Mayer back together, says Star, but he has agreed to marry her and father her children. How did this happen? She performed a "naughty impersonation" of Marilyn Monroe in lingerie and fed him expensive tequila. Funny, that's exactly how Charlie Sheen coaxed a "yes" out of Brooke Mueller.
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have approached Michael Phelps about starring in a reality show, says Life & Style, which will be fine for his image as long as he doesn't spend all his time juggling multiple random girls and growing a goatee. Oh, wait.
When Miley Cyrus turns 16 next month, she wants to move out of her parents' house and into a luxury L.A. condo. She simply wants a place, sympathizes a Star source, "where she can have friends over to watch movies and eat popcorn and have her boyfriend, Justin Gaston, over." Okay, Mom and Dad? It's just a pad for friends, movies, popcorn, and my 20-year-old boyfriend! (Optional guilt trip: "I bet Taylor Momsen's parents would let HER have a condo!")
But maybe this is all a moot point, because Life & Style says papa Billy Ray already allows sleepovers with Gaston, and that Miley brags about them on the "Hannah Montana" set. "It was like she was bragging about having been up all night doing God knows what," sneers an insider. Um, praying, insider. She was up all night praying.
